


buzz buzz

by nasaflower



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas, First Meetings, M/M, Marauders' Era, Modern Marauders (Harry Potter), Remus is a cutie, Texting, What else is new, and yeah i know nothing is capitalized but im lazy so deal with it?, i just really love text fics you guys, sirius is a babe, why do i only ever complete remus/sirius fics?, yeah this was inspired by a tumblr post i saw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 09:55:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13499572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nasaflower/pseuds/nasaflower
Summary: james, fucker, don't leave my beautiful face on seenremus was indeed not james, so he decided to let the stranger know.mate, you've got the wrong number





	buzz buzz

**Author's Note:**

> (a texting fic no one asked for.)  
> (you're welcome, anyway.)

_*buzz buzz*_

remus pulled his phone out of his pocket as he stepped outside into the cold air. a text from an unknown number lit up his phone as he walked across the street to his car, which was parked adjacent to the bookstore where he worked. snow fell heavily, illuminated by the streetlights.

remus let out a small, confused laugh as he opened the message. it was a picture of a man, holding up a peace sign, with the caption merry christmas, though christmas wasn’t for 3 days. the man had shoulder length dark hair, and his eyes were closed with his smile. the man was wearing a christmas jumper. remus considered replying for a moment, but decided that might be very odd to reply to a stranger. he slipped his phone back into his pocket, climbed into his car, and drove home.

he was climbing into bed when his phone buzzed again.

_james, fucker, don’t leave my beautiful face on seen_

remus was indeed not james, so he decided to let the stranger know.

_mate, you’ve got the wrong number_

_this isn’t james?_

then remus snapped a picture of himself, imitating the strangers peace sign, sitting in bed. he captioned it: _merry christmas. not james :)_

_he mustve gotten a new number and not fuckin told me. sorry_

a moment passed, and then another text came through.

_you’re bloody pretty, though. what’s your name?_

remus snorted, turned off his phone, and turned off the light. he wasn’t going to talk to a strange man who dialed the wrong number. remus fell asleep a few minutes later.

two days later, the man texted remus again.

_hello, not james._

remus tilted his head. what the hell was this guy doing, texting a stranger?

_hello, xmas jumper man_

_though that’s an frequently accurate nickname, as i’m wearing one right now, that’s not my name_

the man then sent a picture of his jumper, which depicted a christmas tree with lights threaded through it. they glowed annoyingly. the man’s face wasn’t in the picture.

_do you always have to be plugged in while wearing that jumper?_

_it’s got batteries, not james_

_that’s not my name, xmas jumper man_

_i’m sirius._

_that’s an odd name. i think i’ll stick to xmas jumper man, thanks_

_whatever works_

_i’m remus._

_that’s an odd name. odder than sirius._

_my parents favored mythological names._

_my parents favored the stars, apparently_

_why are you texting a stranger?_

_why are you texting back?_

_i’m curious_

_so am i._

_james told me the cute stranger wouldn’t text me back, yet here we are_

_who is james?_

_my best mate_

_ah, i see. did you find the correct number for him?_

_yeah, fucker changed it the other day and didn’t tell me_

_well, tell james the cute stranger might k_ _eep texting back, if the cute stranger he’s texting doesn’t mind_

_i definitely don’t mind_

_i have to get back to work, sorry ttyl_

remus helped the couple who had just walked into the shop find the book they wanted. after they had left, he shook his head at himself. why was he texting this stranger? admittedly, a cute stranger with a strange name and stranger motives. sirius looked about remus’ age, and from the pictures he’d sent, he looked very attractive. but, he was a stranger. remus was going to get stalked and murdered by this guy, probably. james was most likely his accomplice. the police would find remus’ body in a ditch just in time for christmas, no doubt.

after work, once he’d gotten home and sat down with a bowl of soup at his kitchen table, remus texted sirius again.

_are you a murderer_

_not at all. are you?_

_sounds like something a murderer would say. and no, i’m not._

_why would i be a murderer?_

_strangers are dangerous, that’s what mama always said_

_my mama always said the monster under the stairs would eat me if i was out of bed after bedtime. sometimes mama’s a big fat liar_

_your mama doesn’t seem very nice_

_she isn’t, but i’m used to it. how was work?_

remus noted the hasty subject change. before he could reply, another text buzzed through.

_where do you work?_

_should i be telling you personal information about myself?_

_keep it vague, if you’re that paranoid_

_a bookstore. you?_

_i'm a musician_

_what do you play?_

_drums. what do you read?_

_everything._

_everything?_

_everything. anything. whatever i can get my hands on._

_steinbeck? cannery row is one of my favorites._

_i’ve read that book more times than i can count! steinbeck is a phenomenal author!_

_you’re damn right_

_so are you in a band, then?_

_yeah, actually_

_what’s your band name_

_the pleather jackets_

_clever i like it_

_james came up with it, i admit_

_tell james i applaud his wit_

_alas, he is asleep_

_you live together?_

_roommates. we have another roommate, pete. he’s rarely home though, got a gf who he stays with most of the time._

_i see i see. do u have a gf? or a bf?_

_not at the moment, no. girls aren’t my department, anyway_

_oh, nice. both girls & boys are “my department” but i have neither at the moment _

_cool! bummer tho, a cutie like you could get anyone_

_you’ve only seen one picture of me, im not that cute_

_i disagree, remus. you’re a top notch cutie_

_thank you, sirius, stranger to me_

_we’ve had like 2 conversations, were not strangers anymore_

_but we’ve never met!_

_acquaintances, then_

_fair enough. i need to get some shopping done, ttyl_

_fairwell, darling acquaintance_

remus shook his head and chuckled as he yelled for lily, his roommate. she emerged out of her room, red hair tied up in a ponytail, and the two of them trudged out into the snow to finish up their christmas shopping. in a store, remus spotted an overly festive christmas jumper, covered in pompoms and bobbles and glitter. laughing, remus bought it.

later, when he got home, he put the jumper on and sent a picture to sirius captioned _look what i got._  sirius texted back a few minutes later: _I HAVE THAT SAME ONE_. he attached a photo of him wearing it, along with a shit-eating grin. remus laughed out loud.

_we can be twins_ , remus texted, and sirius sent back a smiley face with too many smiles to count. the next morning, sirius texted an enthusiastic _happy christmas eve!_ while remus was getting ready for work.

_not too happy, i have to work_ remus texted back.

_does your boss hate you?_

_actually, i am my boss. well, co-boss. my business partner/roommate doesn’t want to work today either, but we’re stuck here until 5._

_bummer, mate._

_it’s okay. have a nice day!_

_ditto, rems_

_rems?_

_it’s a nickname_

_i’m aware. but why?_

_remus is too long._

_it’s 5 letters, sirius_

_too long_

_what if i started calling you siri_

_that’s cute actually_

_shut up, i have to go_

_bye rems :)_

_fuck off_

“who were you texting?” lily asked remus as he slipped his phone into his pocket and joined her behind the front desk in the bookstore. remus debated telling lily about sirius, the strange man he’d been texting and probably flirting with, but he had a feeling she’d just worry about him getting murdered (to be fair, remus was slightly worried about that himself.) still, he didn’t want lily’s questions, so he lied.

“just a friend,” remus said, and lily raised her eyebrows.

“a friend? besides me? since when do you have other friends?”

“hey, i have friends!” remus said as he walked around to desk to begin shelving some books. “i have all the friends.”

“mhm, for sure,” lily muttered, but smiled. “remember we have a christmas party tonight.”

“how could i forget? a party full of people i don’t know, i’m so excited!”

“shush, remus. it’ll be fun. marlene is counting on us to show up.”

“i know, i know,” remus said, and then he turned back to the books. he & lily worked alongside each other until 5pm slowly showed up. they locked up the shop and returned back to their flat to get ready for the party. remus wore his new christmas jumper. lily wore a red dress with green knee high boots.

“you look like a festive stripper.”

“and you look like a holiday card made by a three year old.”

“exactly the look i was going for,” remus said, and then they were out the door.

the party was at marlene’s flat, and by the time remus and lily arrived, there were people in every corner of every room. remus knew no one. lily knew everyone. marlene greeted lily with a hug and a giggle and she gave remus a little wave. he waved back. lily & marlene hopped around from group to group, and remus sipped from his drink every once and a while but not too often, because he was the driver tonight. he felt his phone buzz in his pocket and pulled it out to see a text from sirius.

_happy christmas eve_

remus smiled and replied, _you already told me that this morning_

_you can never have too much christmas cheer!_

_maybe too much christmas beer, though. i just want to go to bed_

_that’s not very festive, remus. i’m ready to fuck a christmas tree, that’s how festive i am_

remus nearly spit out his drink as he laughed.

_oh my god why are you like this_

_happy christmas eve, remus :)_

_you too, siri_ and then remus’ phone went quiet. he returned his phone to his pocket only to realize he’d lost sight of lily completely. it was getting late, or rather early, and remus was exhausted. he made his way through the crowds of people, scanning for lily’s dark red hair and bright red dress. he accidentally bumped into a guy wearing a red  & green skirt and apologized distractedly, but the guy stopped him.

“hey, i saw another guy here wearing that jumper!” the very drunk guy said, and remus laughed.

“are you sure it wasn’t me?”

“i’m sure! this guy had dark hair,” the guy said, and remus raised his eyebrows. he didn’t think it could be sirius, there’s no way, but wasn’t it possible? highly unlikely, but possible. curious, he began searching the house not only for lily, but for sirius too. _highly unlikely_ , remus had to remind himself.

he found lily first. he had opened a door to one of the bedrooms to find lily and a boy tangled together on the bed, luckily still clothed. lily jumped up and the guy, who had dark, unruly hair and glasses, blushed a deep red.

“you couldn’t have waited a few more minutes to get tired?” lily said, and remus smirked.

“lils, im your ride home and i’m leaving in 5 minutes because it’s late and i’m exhausted.” remus said, and then he walked back through the people and into the kitchen to get some water. lily joined him a few minutes later with a phone number scrawled on her arm, and they walked out to the car and drove home. remus wondered if sirius had really been at the party. highly unlikely. yet, it bothered him until he fell asleep.

remus slept through most of christmas morning. he woke up closer to christmas afternoon, and he was fine with that. he texted sirius, after he had made breakfast.

_merry christmas!_

_fuck off_

_what?_

_hungover_

_oh. txt when you’re a functioning human?_

_yeah_ , sirius texted, and didn’t text again until three p.m.

_sorry, late party last night_

_that’s okay, me too._

_but you’re not hungover?_

_i was the designated driver_

_oh, gotcha. at the party i was at last night, some guy told me he saw someone wearing the same jumper as me. maybe we have a triplet somewhere_

_holy shit i think we were at the same party last night_

_no way, that’s impossible_

_marlene’s?_

_holy s h i t_

_how do you know marlene?_

_she’s a friend of mine, we used to perform together. wbu?_

_my roommate is good friends with her._

_wow small world, huh?_

_no kidding. i mean, we have the same area code so i figured you didn’t live across the world or anything, but i didn’t expect us to know the same people_

_well what do ya know, cute stranger becomes mutual friend_

_what do ya know :)_

the next day, remus was at work, shelving and organizing, when the bell rang to signify someone had walked in.

“i’ll be right with you!” remus quickly shelved the books he’d been holding and then walked through the shelves to the front desk. standing there, facing away from remus, was a man with shoulder length dark hair. he was wearing a leather jacket, and remus was just about to ask the man if he could help him with anything when he turned around.

“oh my god.”

“remus?”

“sirius? what the hell?”remus’ eyes were wide. sirius grinned. he was gorgeous, but remus had known that already. he was also shorter than remus, which remus had not known.

“damn. you’re prettier in person.”

“i, um, how did you know i was here?” remus’ face was warm. sirius smiled again.

“well, there’s only so many bookstores around here, and i took a guess.”

“that’s... stalkerish.” remus said, but he was smirking.

“shut up, we’ve been over this, i’m not a murderer,” sirius said, running a hand through his hair.

“you didn’t say how short you were.”

“you didn’t tell me you were a giant,” sirius said defensively, and remus laughed.

“did you have a good christmas?” remus asked, and sirius nodded.

“hungover but happy. did you?”

“yeah, lily and i watched christmas movies and ate a lot of cookies.” remus walked behind the desk and sirius turned to face him, leaning on his elbows.

“i have a confession,” sirius said, and remus raised his eyebrows. “i barfed on my christmas jumper.”

remus laughed and rolled his sleeves up. “guess we can’t be twins anymore.”

“sure we can. you just gotta buy a leather jacket.”

“that is not happening.”

“c’mon, you’d look hot as fuck.”

“you’re hot enough for the both of us, i think,” remus said, smirking, and sirius grinned.

“remus, my acquaintance, would you like to go out sometime?”

“sirius, no longer a stranger, i’d love to.”

**Author's Note:**

> wooooOOOOp its done sorry this was a train wreck but i decided to post it anyways


End file.
